The Dreaming

So I've had a couple of dreams this week which have been really, well, odd. Now I'm no stranger to strange dreams - there's the one where I discovered I had a fear of heights AFTER moving into a treetop community, or the one where I was mortally wounded in a Mexican standoff before an oral presentation at uni ( I collapsed and, presumably, bled out while giving that presentation) - but they seem to be coming in thick and fast this week!

In the first one I was hanging out in the Lower House, down in Canberra - but right in the middle of the action. No public gallery for Dream Simon, thank you very much. Then, out of the blue, Julia Gillard returns and is appointed leader. Of everything. We high-fived.

Last night I decided to give myself a haircut. Or, more accurately, Dream Simon decided to give Dream Simon a haircut. He was rubbish. After a lot of mucking around with the kitchen scissors and a pair of pliers (don't ask), out came the clippers... I did keep the beard though.

Finally, a few nights ago, my tablet was playing up and not letting me connect to the Wi-Fi on campus, so I decided to take it in to IT services to see if they could help. And of course, I was served by none other than Sir Ian McKellen. He wasted no time completely disassembling my tablet, and then muttered something about my 'Wi-Fi chip' not being connected. Sir Ian McKellen then rebuilt my tablet and presented it to me, good as new! Then we ate chips.

When I woke up, I was relieved to find that my tablet was working fine, I still had a full head of hair and the leader of our Nation was still that Honourable chap. Well, er, two out of three isn't bad, right?

Malaysia Day Eight: Fly Home

Have you ever watched a fly clean itself? I mean really watched it? They go nuts! Their front legs whip up a storm rubbing the head, the eyes, each other – and it all happens so fast. Then they start with the back legs, that’s when the real show begins. Rub the legs! Rub the body! Rub the wings! Faster, clean faster! Well, alright, maybe you needed to be there; which is more than I can say for my stowaway friend Mr CleanFly here.

I should probably have let someone know that there’s a fly on board, that we risk contaminating our pristine island nation, but the flight attendants seem preoccupied with selling me duty-free scotch.
“We have 18 year old Chivas Regal Blended Scotch available on board,” they remind us over the PA. “And one litre Glenfiddich Single Malt for only 126 Ringgits. Or AUD $42. We also accept US dollars. And other major currencies…” I’ll bet you do, AirAsia.

It was an early start this morning. Our airport transfer was scheduled at a leisurely 7:30 am from the hotel, which would have allowed us ample time to check-in at the airport and the rest. Unfortunately there was a last minute shuffle which saw our transfer time change to 6:45 am instead – which only left us with enough time for one plate from the breakfast buffet. This day was doomed from the beginning.

I decided to give the fly the benefit of the doubt. He’s been cleaning himself this whole time – in fact he’s so clean that he’s squeaking louder than whatever that important looking piece of equipment under the wing is. Just as long as he’s not sitting on my shoulder as I go through customs.

Hairy Situation

Oh, did I mention I’ve had a haircut? I figured I’d had the ponytail for long enough – time to chop and change! Big thanks to Susie, hairdresser extraordinaire, for the new look. I walked into her salon without a clear view in mind and chose to trust her judgement. A lot of skill, patience and a bit of magic later and, well, the results speak for themselves. Here’s some fun trivia: Did you know that Susie, who is my Godmother Irene’s cousin, gave me my first haircut ever?

I’m really enjoying the short hair. So far I’ve saved a fortune on conditioner and I no longer live in constant fear of a hairband breaking and the embarrassment of being caught out without a spare. On the flip side, I do miss having my luscious locks float majestically on the breeze as I cruise along on my GS500…

In an odd twist, I’ve been getting a lot of compliments about my beard since the big snip. I mean, people – most people – have noticed the new hairdo, but there is a surprisingly high number of people who have instead noticed my “new” beard.

Here’s some more trivia for you: my beard is not new - far from it. In fact next month marks the fifth anniversary of that day I missed a sizeable spot shaving.

In other news, I recently happened upon two more pieces I wrote in Malaysia, Day Seven and Day Eight. I had originally planned to write one post for each day of the trip, but that was pretty ambitious. In the end I was simply too busy having fun on my holiday :)

Malaysia Day Seven: Room Service

We started the day off with a leisurely stroll on the motorway. Here’s a fun fact: motorways are much less fun when you don’t have a tonne of steel for protection – we felt quite exposed along that footpath! We were heading towards Kuala Lumpur’s famed Lake Garden which is walking distance from KL Sentral Station, as long as you’re not bothered by a little risk. With insurance papers clenched firmly in hand, we emerged safely from this human-sized game of Frogger.

After checking out the planetarium, some local wildlife and visiting the unimaginatively named ‘Deer Cage’ we decided we’d soaked up enough of the picturesque surrounds and headed to Chinatown.

Unlike the clean, upper class shopping centres we’d been frequenting until now, I found the dingy, bustling marketplace of Petaling Street to be more my style. I walked in and immediately bought two t-shirts. The others engaged Bargain Hunter Mode™ and quickly followed suit. I was once again able to flex my haggling muscle and use some of the tips and tricks I learned last year in Mauritius.

There were many bargains.

Once we’d bought more than we could sensibly carry we headed back to the hotel and pondered the Dinner Question™. I’m not sure if it was a lack of motivation to leave our 5 star accommodation or perhaps we were drunk off our new found sense of wealth and power (an excellent exchange rate will do that to even the most staunch travellers) but we decided to order a sumptuous feast from Room Service. We laughed heartily as we spent the last of our Ringgits on cheeseburgers and too many onion rings. We enjoyed the moment to its fullest, but there was one thought at the back of everyone’s mind. This was the last night of our Marvellous Malaysian Adventure.

Reasons I love my New Car

In March of this year I bought a 2003 BA Ford Fairmont; it had low kms, an LPG conversion, and, I have to say, the car was in immaculate condition - thanks uncle Mark! 

The journey began in Melbourne, where car was located, and it seemed a road trip was in order! I recruited my good friend Matt for assistance and we embarked on what would be one of the most memorable trips of my life.

Six months after that three day epic and the good times are still rolling. There have been some rather big changes in my life lately, but it's safe to say that I still enjoy driving Fairy today just as much as the first time. Here's just a few of the reasons why I love this car:

LPG

The dual fuel system allows me the option to run the car on regular unleaded petrol or the more cost effective and (sightly more) environmentally friendly Liquefied Petroleum Gas. Brisbane prices are rarely as cheap as those in Melbourne, admittedly, though sometimes it gets pretty damn close. The price does fluctuate and it dove to new depths earlier this year - I remember one week it was so cheap that I filled the tank for only $27. That same week my motorcycle cost $28.

Size Matters

Don't get me wrong, I loved driving the Barina - some of my best driving memories are at the helm of that little bundle of German excellence - but take it from me, bigger is better. I now have room to carry pretty much anything I need and my passengers have noted that there's loads of leg room. Most importantly though, I no longer bump my head getting into the car :-)

Lap of Luxury

Power steering, power mirrors, power seat adjustment, auto lights, electronic throttle control (with cruise control), dual zone climate control... the list goes on. The Fairmont is a luxury sedan and she came equipped with all the best toys, plenty to keep me occupied when stuck in traffic! And as if all that wasn't enough, I've recently had a Parrot ASTEROID Mini installed. It's early days still, but so far so good. I'll keep you updated on that, once I've had a little play around with it.

Only Milk Comes in a 2 Litre

The Fairmont is powered by a (quite frankly) enormous 4.0L straight six cylinder engine. The perfect example of overengineering! It's freakishly powerful when it needs to be; on the trip back to Brisbane we were travelling around 100-110 km/h and the engine was sitting on only 2000 rpm - it was basically idling! Fairy was quite happy to sit at that speed all day, and we managed the 2000 km cross-country trek with ease. I'm not even going to mention what happened the first time I overtook somebody... To top it off, the car is also very quiet and has a transmission so subtle it's barely noticeable. I take my hat off to the engineers at Ford.

Thank You

I think it’s about time for another blog update; before I slip into yet another unscheduled hiatus!

There is a sobering reason for this, after almost four years of building a life together Bek and I decided to separate in June of this year. This was a huge change and there was a very stressful and hectic transition from the life that I knew, to something entirely new.

I want to extend my thanks to the family and friends I've been leaning on for support the last couple of months. You've all been great and have really helped me through what has been one of my toughest challenges. Thank you.

Negra Modelo

So I know I was kind of in the middle of recounting my Malaysian experience, but it seems I’m taking a bit of a break from my blogging duties during semester. Come to think of it, apart from a couple of pieces which I am yet to edit, there is still a lot I want to write about – but at this point the only way I can it is to go back through photos and do a sort of blog commentary. Not necessarily a bad thing; it’s just not the way I wanted it to be. It lacks my spontaneous charm. When I make some free time for it, I’ll work on it.

Until then, I’ll leave you with a little post about a delicious Mexican beer which isn’t Corona. Negra Modelo is a dark ale, but it’s lighter flavoured than most and is almost, well, sweet. The only downside is that it’s a bit hard to find. It used to be imported by Foster’s, along with Corona, from Mexican producer Grupo Modelo. When SABMiller took Foster’s over, Grupo Modelo decided to terminate their contract with Foster’s, leaving Lion Nathan (the other half of our local duopoly) to pick up the slack and bring in The Corona. Not that Foster’s need to be particularly concerned, through SABMiller they’ll now be peddling Peroni, Miller Draft and Grolsch. They’ll be fine.

But what about poor Negra Modelo? Well, that’s where things get interesting. If you thought that Lion Nathan would jump at the chance as quickly as they did for Corona, you’d be right. Or at least on the right track. Lion Nathan’s website actually has Negra Modelo listed as one of their imported brands, right alongside Corona, but I haven’t seen it at the bottleo. Or in venues. It isn’t even in the Dan Murphy’s online store - and they have everything. The only place I’ve seen it is in a small boutique bottle shop in St Kilda, called Acland Cellars. But theirs is nothing new – the label states the beer was imported, not Lion Nathan, but by Foster’s. Seems they’re just getting rid of old stock.

Oh well, some food for thought to accompany such an enjoyable brew.

About 31

So I came across this question and couldn't resist sharing it:

"You are writing a short adventure story for your English class. In your story, two submarines on a secret mission need to arrive at a place in the middle of the Atlantic ocean at the same time. They start out at the same time from positions equally distant from the rendezvous point. They travel at different velocities but both go in a straight line. The first submarine travels at an average velocity of 20 km/hr for the first 500 km, 40 km/hr for the next 500 km, 30 km/hr for the next 500 km and 50 km/hr for the final 500 km. In the plot, the second submarine is required to travel at a constant velocity, so the captain needs to determine the magnitude of that velocity."

Umm... Sounds like it's going to be a thrilling, er, adventure story?

Malaysia Day Two: The Waiters

A few years ago I lived in France. It wasn't the traditional working holiday/backpacker experience; I was on a high school exchange. For an entire year I lived with a family and attended school – just like a real French Boy. I also had the opportunity to travel a bit. In fact one of the few things I didn't do while in Europe was go to McDonald’s. I once tallied up my visits and realised, for that year, I went to Italy more times than I went to Macca’s. And yet there we sat in Kuala Lumpur Airport, not one hour after landing, waiting for Bek to finish a less than hearty Macca’s breakfast.

I think I may have mentioned the more than ample time we’d allowed to meet all of our connections. For our next connection, the flight to Penang, we allowed a cool 4.5 hours – plenty of time to account for delays, immigration, baggage collection, check-in, maybe even a quick stroll through duty-free… We've got our bags. We've cleared immigration. We checked the time, 4:45 am. Too early to check-in. Nothing to do but wait. Or blog.

A double power nap and a few strange looks later, we were off to Penang: Land of Adventure. We were greeted at the airport by a man holding up a sign with all of our names (I thoroughly enjoyed that part). We piled into his van and headed off towards the hotel, and he provided us with a well-thought, informative and balanced commentary on current Penang politics (I thoroughly enjoyed that part). The Prime Minister was visiting Penang, and in order to gain some desperately needed votes, paid K-Pop super-star Psy an exorbitant amount of money to perform a free concert for the people (I sensed our driver less than thoroughly enjoyed that part).

When we arrived at our hotel we were relieved that the wait was finally over. We were swiftly greeted by the bell boy who took our luggage and ushered us into reception.
“Welcome to Hydro Hotel,” smiled a friendly receptionist, “do you have a reservation?”
“We sure do,” I handed her my passport, “I’m looking forward to a nice hot shower after that journey!” The others agreed, though we later decided it would be better to take separate showers.
“I’m sorry sir, but your room is not yet available. Neither of the rooms are ready yet.” What went wrong? We've got our bags. We’re at the hotel. We checked the time, 11:15 am. Too early to check-in. Nothing to do but wait. Or blog.

Malaysia Day One: Enter the Adventure

After surviving Highway Madness™ we arrived at the airport with time to spare. A lot of time to spare as it turned out. Actually, we had a lot of time to spare with all our connections throughout the entire trip. It seemed like a good idea, but waiting around in airports, hotel lobbies, and one time waiting inside the bus while the driver inexplicably walked away for 40 minutes... it’s easy to think that maybe we should be leaving things until the last minute. Maybe we should have been running to get there on time, lungs screaming for air; living on the edge! Then again, it did leave us plenty of time to go shopping.

The first (and only) stop on our impromptu shopping tour of Coolangatta Airport was the duty free shop, and I had been looking forward to acquiring a good scotch. I know what you’re saying, and yes, I normally only blog about rum, but if there’s one thing I love more than a good rum it’s a great scotch whisky. Admittedly, I’m something of a novice where fine scotch whiskies are concerned, which is especially embarrassing because I’m a bartender. If only we had a selection of Premium Top Shelf Scotches at work… (Kat The Amazing Manager, I’m talking to you :P)

But seriously, I had to start my Scotchucation™ somewhere, and what better place than at the top end of the Johnnie Walker range! I’ve had my eye on a bottle of Johnnie Walker Gold Label Reserve for a little while now – I even came this close to buying a bottle during Christmas sales. I decided that the time was right. Bottle number one sorted.

Now what to do about the second bottle? There wasn’t a huge selection in the small shop. The bottles of Double Black caught my eye, but I knew better. I had bought a bottle of that for the Mauritius trip, I found the flavours overpowering and altogether too smokey – not somewhere I wanted to revisit in a hurry. I briefly contemplated a bottle of Blue Label, when suddenly I saw it, in the corner of my eye. Just a glimpse. Something new. Johnnie Walker Explorers’ Club Collection: The Spice Road.
“Exclusive to travellers,” said the shopkeeper, who had sidled up behind me, “not available in stores.” Cool, sounds exclusive. Can’t wait to try it.
“Well that settles it then,” I replied, placing both bottles on the counter. Bottle number two sorted – I foresee a scotch night in the near future J

Our Marvelous Malaysia

So not in the mood for this. We’re on the highway and people are just merging – swerving – into our lane without so much as a thought. There’s a bloke on a motorbike weaving in and out of traffic with a kid on the back – neither are wearing any protective gear besides the Government mandated helmet. This nightmare of a road is unbelieveable; and we haven’t even made it to Coolangatta Airport.

“Airport?” I hear you say, “where are you off to this time Simon: The Adventurous Blogger?” We’re heading to Malaysia, the land of dreams, for a one week séjour. I’ve got to say I was pretty excited for this trip, and I hope I’ve documented things well enough so that now, back in the land of slightly more secure WiFi, I’m able to share a few choice moments. Enjoy.

These boots were made for walkin'...

After just five years of loyal service, my wonderful Blundstones have fallen apart.

I first bought them at the end of 2007, right before I went to France, it was a good buy; the boots proved to be a worthy travel companion. I remember the steel caps being quite troublesome in a Thai airport on the way across. The metal detector kept alarming, much to the confusion of security. I offered to remove the boots so they could be x-rayed, but they refused, convinced their hand held detector and a quick pat down would resolve the issue. It didn't. Baffled and defeated, they allowed me through. Security must be a big issue for an airport whose roof is made of canvas.

After trekking through Europe (including some time in the snow covered Alps, where, I'm pleased to say, the boots held their own quite nicely) my boots settled into a life of luxury, spending time in the garden and working part-time in a local restaurant with Michael. My boots would continue to travel, occasionally accompanying me to Melbourne.

But all good things must come to an end eventually. In recent months, the boots' sole had been deteriorating, leaving a trail of rubber bread crumbs behind me everywhere I went. It was a great gag!

Eventually though, it was time to replace them. My new Blundstones look promising and seem to have a lot to offer, but they'll have to do better than that. They've got big shoes to fill.

True Story

So there I am, making another sound, well thought out purchase on eBay, when I'm prompted to sign into my PayPal account.
 'No worries,' I say, 'let me just type in my password.' I type in my password.

 --Sorry but that password or username is incorrect--

 'Hmm, that's funny,' I say, without so much as a chuckle, 'better check my username.' It was correct. I tried it again.

 --Sorry but that password is incorrect, please note that passwords are case-sensitive--

 Case sensitive!? That must be it! I'm using my tablet, it's notorious for switching me back to lower case at the most inconvenient times. I try it again, paying extra close attention to the shift key.

 --Sorry but that password is incorrect, please log on to PayPal with your computer so we may assist you-- 

'Wait, you're saying it has something to do with my mobile device?' I'm beginning to think it may have something to do with my mobile device. I jump on the computer.

 --Sorry but that password or username is incorrect--

 So now I'm thinking it has nothing to do with my email address, case sensitivity or my tablet;
'I've forgotten my password!' Time to reset it. Check my email for the link. Time to choose a new password.
'Maybe I should use that password I've been trying to log in with - apparently I can remember that!'

 --Sorry, your new password must be different to the password currently in use for this account--

What? 'WHAT!? But, but I... PAYPAL!!!'

 --U Mad, Bro?--

Beer Ahoy!

Well I guess it's time again I do one of these blogs, so strap yourself in and prepare for the ride of your life! Or don't, I'm not fussed.

Today's topic: Generic Brews, brought to you our good friends at Woolworths and Coles. Now would be a great time to declare my interest in Coles, I am a paid employee of the spirit hotels group, hoteliers which are owned by Coles.

But it's their rivals the Australian Leisure and Hospitality group (ALH), which is 75% owned by Woolies, that I want to talk about. Trading as the Sail and Anchor Co, ALH have been slowly introducing their own generic brand of premium beers into the market. Premium generic products are nothing new in Australian shops, even generic brews are becoming commonplace - Coles have the premium lager Maxx dry and Maxx ciders and Woolies, erm sorry, ALH have their own Dry Dock lager and Castaway cider. And you know what? They're actually not bad, not bad at all, so I didn't hesitate to try one of the Sail and Anchor Co's newest offerings - a craft beer.

I love craft beers; my favourite at the moment is James Squire's Golden Ale, or maybe White Rabbit dark ale, actually I quite like 28 Pale Ale from the Burleigh Brewing Co too and let's not forget Hahn Harvest... After switching to ales I've all but given up lagers! I could go into great depth about why they're different, but I think I'll save that for a future blog :-)

The first thing I noticed was the price, they weren't cheap. Nor were they outrageously expensive, at $14 for a four pack they wind up smack bang in the middle - and just above the price of the James Squire's range (about $18 for a 6 pack). What's more is that the quality definitely merited it. I tried the Boa's Bind Amber Ale, and was pleasantly surprised. Great colour, good aroma and not as bitter as other ales can be. There are 4 'flavours' to choose from in the range, the aforementioned amber ale, a pale ale, a golden ale and a kolsch. The only thing is that they're all named after obscure knots. I'm going to have to have another to try to make sense of that. And maybe one of the golden ales too. And the kolsch looks interesting too....

And don't forget to join me next time for the Coles craft beer selection (what, you didn't think they'd have a rebuttal?)